What happens when people who cannot normally show feelings, communicate them properly, or don't know/understand their feelings hit their tipping point? It seems like we are all guilty of this at some point. And if we live another week or so, it seems we will all be guilty of doing it again. However there are many people that I have encountered which seem to live in this state of immature feeling appropriation (SIFA)--can't show, communicate and/or don't understand their feelings.
I am a good listener. Not only am I confident about this, I have had many people validate that core belief about myself. One of the things that happens when you listen to people is that people begin to trust you. I personally have never asked someone "Hey, will you trust me?" It just happens. When people trust you, you become safe. Which is really cool because when people feel safe, I get to talk about/listen to important things rather than the trivial day-to-day mindless chatter, like "Weather sure is hot" or "Those [pick a sports team] did not do well."
However, one of the most frustrating things in my life is when there is a person in continual SIFA who finds me safe enough to begin their journey to become unSIFA. What tends to happen is an avalanche of anger, well-thought out monologues which last way too long, and a general breaking down into self pity and judgment. That is not the frustrating part for me. The problem is the person, almost always, still has no desire to become aware of the problems they have with feelings. So there is this great release for them, only to begin building the tension back up because they have not learned. Even more frustrating is the significant amount of time spent listening to the release because I know that in a couple months (if not weeks) time it is just going to happen again and usually for the same reasons against the same people.
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